How To Attract A Quality Man…And Become His Bride!


When I was a child, my mother gave me three basic rules: to Respect Myself, Value my name (reputation), and NEVER play with a man’s money or his emotions. I listened to that.

Over they years, I’ve had at least most of the men I’ve dated or had encounters with want to marry me–or to consider me marriage material.  No.  I’m not bragging.  Just saying…

There was no secret to attracting these type of men. I just listened to my mother’s advice and I’d like to share with some women why some of them can’t attract the “right men.”

Women today are too easy to give up the very thing that attracts a man. Her mystery. Or let me just be more blunt, you give up the punanny too quick. Men want a respectable woman who carries herself with dignity. Not one that will embarrass him. If you’re the type of chick that likes to get drunk in the bar or club and then do a strip-tease, chances are, you will get men’s attention, but not the man that wants to marry you. Being too loose in the public eyes devalues women in the eyes of men. It’s true…men treat a woman according to how she carries herself. The thing that goes through a man’s mind, basically, is that women like this are whores and if a woman doesn’t care about herself, and debases herself in public, she’s probably easy, and will do it with any man.

The feminist movement, in my opinion, was a failure. Frankly, it achieved nothing in relation to women being treated with more respect. It had good intentions, but honestly, it has become destructive to women and how they are viewed by men in general.

Women today have cheapened themselves to the level of cheap pick-ups. Men don’t feel they have to treat women with any type of respect and give women what they ask for: bad treatment.

If you want to be the one-night stand the rest of your life, keep doing what you’re doing. But if you want to attract the right man, I suggest you start understanding that with men, they have 4 basic needs in a woman: A devoted woman who enjoys his company, A woman who is domestic–yes, men love a good cook and a woman who will make his home happy, as well as keep it organized, and clean.  A woman he can trust. Let’s face it, some women talk too much. Many men complain that the reason why they don’t tell their wives or girlfriends anything is that when they do, everyone in town will know their business. And lastly, A woman that respects him. The smart woman knows how to please her man with compliments–not put-downs.  If you want anything from a man, make him THINK he’s the only man on earth that can accomplish what you desire. Yes, ladies. Men really do want to be Superman.

If you want to attract a rich man, please don’t make a big deal about his money. Rich men automatically are distrustful of people, particularly women who seem to be attracted to their money more than them. If you do give too much attention to what he has as opposed to who he is, you have given that man all the power in the world to look down on you and treat you like a cheap commodity or slut. If you want to be treated special by this type of man–and become the woman of his dreams, you must give him the impression that you are being sought after by other men like himself.

Men most often will marry the woman they consider to be “wife material”.  Logically speaking, if you want to be chosen, then you need to study what makes a good wife in the eyes of a man.

Most men of importance already feel as though they are special–it’s all about them, and rich men even moreso, but the kicker here is for the woman that lands this type of man, you must give him the impression that you’re special and IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU. You are the absolute catch. Don’t make that man think you’re a dime a dozen. Don’t act like he’s all that either. If you make him think of you as inferior, you can hang it up. Men who think highly of themselves will not stoop to a woman that treats herself badly and thinks of herself as inferior. He’ll discard you quickly.

I learned this at a young age. I never was the type to go crazy over the popular guys, I’d act like I wasn’t interested. Per usual, this attracted them to me–they viewed me as someone who they had to chase. Men are natural hunters and when a man feels that a woman is getting away, it will naturally set off his hunting instincts. He will think of you as some type of It Girl, who has men under a spell, and he has to have you–by any means necessary. Wink-wink.

It’s really that simple.

But sadly, far too many women today treat themselves like rental cars; anyone who can pay to drive, can have a ride. They become common.

Men love to dig for gold. They love what is valuable and rare. The woman who carries herself like she is the finest jewel, will most definitely become the interest of the man who feels he deserves to have something so rare.

The Greatest Jazz Funk–Fusion Band Ever…INCOGNITO!

This is for jazz lovers…especially jazz funk/fusion lovers.

When I was managing a record store back in the mid nineties, as with most record stores, we got a lot of promo albums to play. Typically, I’d go through everything sent–you never know what gems you might discover. Well, on such an occasion, a serendipitous thing happened when I played the promo for this group, Incognito. The album at that time was Positivity. As I listened to the tracks, one of the songs, Deep Waters, struck my ear–they had been playing the heck out of it on WGCI radio (Chicago station) at the time, and its groove just soothed one’s senses. Almost like a cd version of Cronic. The impact of the album left an indelible impression to this day, and if you haven’t heard of Incognito, get ready…for a listening treat.

Enjoy this live concert of some of their greatest hits…

Live 2:41:44 run time

Whitney Houston Movie…Already Causing Controversy

Striking Resemblance...

And here she is…the young lady to play in the upcoming Whitney Houston movie: Her name is Yaya DaCosta. Striking resemblance, huh?

Bobby Kristina is mad about it–she felt she should have been chosen to play her mother.

Angela Basset is the director and doesn’t agree.

I agree with Angela. What about you?

Whitney has been gone for over 2 years now. Everytime I hear her music, I actually stop to listen to that voice.

You see, I saw Whitney come up–I remember buying her fist album, but honestly, at that time, I was so into hip hop, dance music, and R & B, I just wasn’t into the Barbara Streisand type songs Whitney was singing. And yes, I was one of those people that didn’t think she had enough soul–wasn’t hip enough. But as the years progressed, I grew to respect her talent.

When Whitney died, her death didn’t exactly shock some people, but it made me sad, and as I watched her funeral on television, it just struck me, that she was just a little church girl–like myself, as they cued up the various photos of her singing in the choir–just like me. At that time, I connected with Whitney for the very first time.

Yes, we lost one of the last divas–and superstars we’ll probably see for a very long time, but what is everlasting is that voice–it will remain in our memory forever.

RIP Whitney Houston…

Getting You Ready For The James Brown Movie…

Godfather of Soul–James Brown 1933-2006


Alright Funksters. The new James Brown Movie, Get on up, is coming out on August 1st, and I’m getting you ready for that.

Take a listen to the Godfather of Soul at his best in this collection of jams.

The JB’s

Alright! Don’t hurt nothin’…

Black Men: What Will It Take To Make You STAND UP?

Only the Strong Need Apply!


Forgive me, but many people think that Black men haven’t stood up for anything since the days of the Black Panthers.

And come to think of it, I’m not really sure I can disagree with that.

Please do not get me wrong, but a lot of brothers have seemingly stepped out of the forefront of politics, community leadership, family, and in general, giving their voice to various social, ethical, and moral issues.

Let’s be real, most of our leaders today are all senior citizens.  Old Black men are risking going to jail to fight for a cause.  They’ve slowed down and aren’t up for that–naturally, they’ve become conservative and complacent.

Liberation is a young man’s game.

The images of the Black male has gotten innocent Black men killed. The insidious nature of this was created by the white media. And the sad part, many Black men in positions to speak boldly, choose to cower, and often play into these media perceptions.

You have to earn respect and with that, this means that you have to be willing to give something up in order to achieve a certain goal.

Black men have an image of profiling and “frontin'” but not many today have records of actively standing up for anything. You can abuse them, hate them, even kill them, then some pastor will pray, insisting Black people to get on our knees, and ask God to redeem the offenders, then, back to the same ole’ same ole’. Cowardice. Plain and simple.

You don’t pray for leaders YOU RAISE LEADERS!

Look at the state of our communities across this nation. Black males walk around with their pants hanging off of their behinds, refusing to read books, but want to drive expensive cars, while living with a girlfriend on food stamps. How many Black children have been spawned by the irresponsible Black male? What is this doing to our community as a whole?  Young Black men need strong male role models so that they can be STRONG MALES. It takes men to raise men.

What are Black men building?  What will be the legacy of this generation?

No. I’m not a man-hater, nor do I make it a habit to criticize Black males, but honestly, the work that I’ve put in trying to stand up for, defend verbally (literally writing a book to young brothers) to empower them, but to continually have to rebuke the apathy that comes from many Black males, sometimes just frustrates me. I’m just a woman, and can never understand what it means to be a Black man, but I am a double-minority, and all Black women have experienced sexism and racism. We get no brakes, but we get up every day and choose to fight.

All I’m saying is that with the current state of racial bias being directed at many Black males, it’s high time for many to stop hiding behind facades and face their enemies head on–with the gun if necessary. Do something. Real men prepare themselves for confrontation.

Kings build nations and empires.  Being a king requires that a man take the lead, be strong, wise, and raise his people up, as he is raised up, being the human equivalent of the divine force that created him.

We’ve got your back, but we can’t continue to carry you.

Being a man means taking control. And that’s what Black men must do if they want to be empowered in this world.

***For years, I’ve interacted and had discussions with Black men–-at times, they can become hostile when a woman, particularly a Black woman, tells them what the real issues are that provoke them and make them act negatively toward them. Because of these conversations in years past, I was motivated to write a book to Black men in 2011, entitled, A Journey Into The Mind of a Black Woman: In Search of Black Men Who Live With Purpose. I think it was ahead of it’s time–all these years later, what I talked about is very relevant to young brothers like yourself. Get a copy–and READ IT! The narrative is a letter to young Black men–-a conversation that needs to be had.  Here’s the link:

Standing Up To Racism…

Stop Pretending Racism Doesn't Exist!
Study link:

How many times have Black people witnessed blatant racism or experienced it personally than had to weigh in the reality of doing something right then and there? Probably most of us, but how many actually stand up and speak the truth–no matter where the chips fall?

I’ve done it many times, so, I’m giving myself a pass on this one. And I’ve yet again had to speak up, but this time, it was for something I witnessed at my local Wal-Mart. A white woman jumped from another line–while the cashier was tending the sale of an elderly Black lady, shoves 2 bras in her face–telling her to ring those up before she started the next transaction, which apparently was for her granddaughter, and daughter. The cashier was not completed with the sale of the Black lady, and by the expression of her face, felt it was rude–she just cut in front of the Black lady, not excusing herself at all.   She told the woman that she hadn’t completed the sale of the elderly woman–and was shocked by this woman’s arrogance.  Do you know that this white woman had the nerve to go complain to the manager. Her behavior and attitude was blatantly disrespectful, and in my honest observation, racist toward the elderly Black lady, and for her to complain was downright obnoxious. The cashier did nothing wrong.

I live in south Georgia and I’m standing my ground here because I’m sick and tired of how white people behave toward African Americans; by the mere presumption of White Supremacy/White Privilege, feel absolute impunity in their attitudes and actions, which one intuitively perceives within an instant, as pure racial hatred.

Whites love to ambush Black people, literally goading a response, provoking a confrontation, then playing innocent, even lying, to mask their real intent. This is psychological terrorism, and emotional abuse, and I will not tolerate it.

Well, the right person was watching, and I’m voicing my opinion to that cashier’s supervisor–let the chips fall where they may.

You see, I’m not playing with white folks. Not at all. I feel absolutely no obligation to be nice to them or to pretend to be easy-going, which is something many African Americans employ, as not to be seen as the “Bad Negro”. I don’t care anything about that. They love to play that game of “How do you know they are being racist?” Uh-uh…my response: I’m not anywhere stupid and I know when someone cares about me humanely, as opposed to someone attacking me for being who I am. White people love to try to erase the experiences of African Americans–they claim individuality and claim no responsibility whatsoever for the marginalization of certain POC’s or people of color, but it’s time to make them face the ugly truth of who they are innately.

Enough is enough.

****If you don’t say anything when something happens, it will keep happening…because you didn’t.****