When Family Is Not There For You…

We’re all taught family values. Love your blood.  Family comes first.  All of that, but what happens when your family is not there for you?

Look.  Even the best families have issues and are a little dysfunctional, but what happens when the love is gone?

Both my parents come from large southern families, and for the most part, I was taught that Blood is thicker than water…”  I’ve lived that, but when I moved to Georgia in 2004; I quickly found out that some of my relatives may be related to me by blood, but they are far from family.

My mother has always helped her siblings, but she’s up in age now and I can tell you, her younger siblings don’t do anything for her. I’ve witnessed their indifference recently and I’ve made the decision to cut some folks off.

I told my mother years and years ago to stop feeling as though it was her responsibility to help everyone.  But that’s how her generation was raised.

For almost nine years, I’ve watched some of my family members take advantage of not just her, but anyone that will allow them too.  They don’t think about how their behavior impacts others.  Born leeches know nothing of reciprocation.

I’ve been so angry, I could fight.  The anger I feel is beyond expression, but basically, I’m seriously disappointed in many of my family members.  They are a reflection of the current attitude in America: SELF ABSORPTION.

Some people that I’ve met over they years have been treated so bad by family members, they look to and receive from their friends, the love they should be receiving from those they share DNA with.

Honestly, I really don’t know what to do about it, but for those here who are having family issues, I can offer this piece of advice:  do not internalize anything negatively, speak honestly to those who offend, be firm, show love–even when you’re angry, do not accept any excuses.

You must understand that you teach people how to treat you and you must make it your business to let your family know where your boundaries are.  When you love yourself more and realize what you will not do; your family will respect you more and treat you better.

That’s a promise…

5 comments on “When Family Is Not There For You…

  1. Family is the first ones that look for you, and the last ones you can look for.


  2. Imhotep says:


    I know it is hard not to be angry at Our Family Members sometimes. We need to remember it is not Our fault, truly, that horrible mental lessons (given to Us during slavery) are still passed down from Our Great Ancestors. We see their destruction, and worse, Our People will not allow Us to do anything about it.

    It is Our responsibility as Concious people to set a good example by being Ourselves around others and helping them when We can.

    F white people! F them to their homeplace which is hell!

    The best thing about this century we live in is that it could be the last century ever. The work of their evil ancestors is finally catching up with all of them. I heard “why”-te men cannot stand Nicki Minjai. They hate seeing blonde straight hair on Us. Finally, after all of the years, these stupid asses are seeing their work in its totality. F them all.


  3. Yes some family members are leeches, those need to be left alone. sometimes its not all about who u are related to by blood that matters, sometimes friends help out more or others can become family. That is how ppl end up in gangs they don’t have a real functional family so they get caught up in feeling these ppl will take care of me and look out for me. what goes around comes around, those ppl that are not around for ur mother will probably have their own kids do the same to them when they are older. Black ppl should not accept being mistreated yet giving and putting our all and bending over backwards for ppl who don’t do the same for us. Sometimes u gotta let them go even if they are family just be there when they come to their senses. like the prodigal son he wanted his inheritance and left home and when he came to his sense and returned home his father welcomed him with open arms.


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