Bad Cooking Is OFFENSIVE To Me!

Image

And I’m not playing either.

Tis the season…and it is on the mind of every Cook: to prepare a wonderful meal that everyone loves and brags about forever.

That is…if you come from a family of good cooks.

I’m a southerner.  And I’m going to let some of you in on a little secret: southern people will forgive you for every sin a man/woman can commit, but Lord have mercy on your soul! if you mess up a meal.  We don’t play that!  Trust me on this.  We will talk about you like a dog, and you will never be allowed within a foot of anyone’s kitchen or barbecue ever in life.  That’s a promise.  You see; cooking is how we socialize in the south.  It’s our heritage.  Our culture–a means of communication and expression of love.

People who can’t cook are a pariah here.  There’s no place for them in anyone’s home or community.  They must be purged before they do real harm.

I know that some of you are snickering.  Go head and laugh…but the joke will be on you if you ever make the mistake of bringing burnt food or food that a dog would sniff and literally choke from the whiff of your culinary catastrophe.

Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away and although it’s a joy for most people; many are dreading having to be subjected to yet another bad meal.  Why even go?  Because…it’s family. That’s what we’ve been told all of our lives, but how many of you even think of the many people who’ve been shot because of bad food?  People go crazy when they’re hungry.  How many think of the homes that have burned down because some loony didn’t read the directions of how long you keep the damn turkey in the oven?

True story: About 12 years ago, I actually had to spend 3 days in the hospital after Thanksgiving.  When I arrived, I overheard two nurses talking about a man and a woman who had been admitted Thanksgiving night because the husband became irate with his wife over her bad cooking.

The nightmare.  Dear God!  Save us All!

Another secret: Children will love you if you prepare good meals.  They’ll talk about it all of their lives.  Family and friends will always welcome you when they know that you are a food master or sort of there, but regardless; the bottom line is that good cooking is the key to great relationships, people.

So as I prepare my Thanksgiving menu…I just wanted to take some time from choosing what desserts I’m adding along with the rest of the meal; to stress those of you who have the audacity to try and do a great big dinner this year; think hard about what I’m saying because…quite frankly, many hospital emergency rooms will thank you.

Advertisements

11 comments on “Bad Cooking Is OFFENSIVE To Me!

  1. I’m not sure if it’s me but it looks like the site layout is a bit off center. it might be my browser though. anyway nice website. cheers Clear Pool Cleaning 4084 Basswood Dr Sarasota FL 34232 941 444-9718

    Like

  2. Adeen says:

    I find bad cooking offensive too because it tells me that they don’t care about how their food tastes to others. I don’t like bad cooking but I do plan on learning to cook though

    Like

  3. HA!!! Another good observation sista, again.

    I have over the years pick a skill or two in the kitchen, as most of the males in my family. Bad cooking should not be stood for nor endured. If you know not what the kitchen is for then please, I beg you please stay out.

    Like

  4. lol, good thing I know how to cook, I cooked last years thanksgiving meal and Christmas it was good too. But this year idk might have to go to family house for Christmas and their food is ok but there is nothing like my moms dressing.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s