One day, I sat at my windowsill, peering out of my window. Every Black man that I saw passing by…seemed to have a serious look on his face—no smile. I wondered why. Each and every day afterwards; I saw the same. The Black men that I saw with their girlfriends or wives, seemed to be somber and disinterested; as if they wanted to be in another place but where they were.
Where was the love?
I thought about the one true love of my life who forced me to walk away. His name was Craig. I was young when I met him. He was fine. Every time my eyes gazed on his strong masculine frame, my heart would literally begin to race. I thought I would pass out sometimes. Craig was everything to me—the thought of him could make me smile at any moment. When I woke up in the mornings—I thought of Craig. When the moon lit the sky, and my eyes drifted into sleep; my subconscious summoned dreams of the man—the “one man” who I believed would make me his wife. But I woke up from that dream. And I soon was forced to take off the rose-colored glasses; for the man of my dreams, was really a wolf in disguise. And if I didn’t walk away, I would be devoured.
I chose my life. I just didn’t want to sit and wait for a man to change…so I moved on.
It was not to be.
So many women stay in relationships with men that they should have left alone.
It was not that I didn’t love Craig; I just loved myself more.
He was the one. I know this, but the tragedy of my loss is that I had to face the fact that Craig would have caused too much pain in my life. He had issues and people with issues hurt people.
How many sistahs have had to walk away from a man they loved because he had issues? How many stayed and lost their lives? I wondered this, along with many other things while writing my first novel: A Journey Into The Mind of a Black Woman: In Search of Black Men Who Live With Purpose.
For every Black woman that ever cried over a Black man or the ones who wondered what was going on with their man, I confronted the very issues that many try to express, but sometimes, just can’t find the words.
The most powerful thing a man can do is to understand how his behavior injures the one person who loves him the way The Creator intended.
Brothers who love their women, will understand how much they needs them to develop into the men God destined them to be.