The “Black Friend”….

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Many Black people don’t realize it but we’re being targeted. Nothing new. On the surface, it looks innocent, but underneath it, the intent is what needs to be confronted.

Are white people attracted to you for some reason? No matter where you go, they seem to want to strike up a conversation–then, invite you to hang out with them.

Hhhmmm…

Seems innocent, but is it?

Let me just stop being coy. What it is really is hipster racism. In other words, white folks profiling for Black people who they think can make them not look racist but oh, so cool. Because you know, we Black folks got dibs on the copyright for cool, right?  These type of white people actually look for “certain types” of Black people to approach: must be cool socially>>an athlete, singer, dancer, artist, clubber, etc., dress a certain way, talk a certain way (hip), have a certain kind of aura or look–in order to make the white person seeking out your friendship, be perceived differently in their social circles or cliques.  They love being seen with Black people, hanging out with them, and even going t0 bed with them, but then…the morning after, a feeling of disconnect takes over, and thus, they get bored, and have to find even more Black friends, to convince them that they are not racist for their true intentions and thoughts about Black people in general.

For those Black people who’ve been the “only Black” in certain scenarios, I’m sure you’ve experienced what has been penned, ironic racism, that is, someone who thinks they are above racism but doesn’t mind doing something extremely racist for a laugh.

Have you ever been asked the following questions:

““You know, _____, you’re black, but you’re not black black.”

– “Is ________ because you’re black?”

– “I’ve always wanted to hook up with a black girl.”

– “[Fill in with something about chicken.]”

– “[Fill in with something about looking ‘fierce’]” because that’s the ethnic word for “hot,” apparently.

Ever been to a party where one of the white folks wore black face and thought nothing of it?…of course, before they saw you there.

How many Black women have had the “white chick” you’ve been hanging with, think it was ok to touch your hair?

If so, then you’ve been tagged by an unintentional racist. Oh, god! But please don’t call them a racist, of course they’ll apologize and become condescending because…”you’re overreacting”. Right?

Let me tell you something, I’ve never been the Black friend, and don’t intend to be.

Now, I’m not even close to being naive, I know that there are some Black people who enjoy being the center of the joke in the room–having self esteem so low, if you kicked them, they’d say thank you.  However, it’s even worse when you know you’re being played and allow it.

White folks are dead to me. And I do mean that in literal reference. They are dying as a race and frankly, being friends with them is an oxymoron. How can you be a friend to a people who have spent their entire existence trying to diminish your people at our expense?  What gauls me about white people is that they feign ignorance to the White privilege that many of them feel free to do the things they do–even when it’s objectionable.

Not falling for the game. And I give this piece of advice for Black people involved in these superficial and psychologically damaging relationships: if you don’t respect yourself enough to BE YOURSELF and let people know who you truly are so that they can’t make presumptions about you, is their friendship enough to change the reality of what they truly are and how they really think about you?

I’m not your Black friend, Whitey?

Reference: http://www.thebolditalic.com/articles/2784-im-not-your-black-friend

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39 comments on “The “Black Friend”….

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  4. Thanks for finally talking about >The Black Friend.

    From The Mind of Truthangel <Loved it!

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  8. layla Lewis says:

    Hello truthangel07,
    thank you very much for answering my question! I like your site and the issues you face about white racism and the struggles of blacks to recognize their rights!
    Right now I live in the UK, I lived in Italy in the past but not anymore!
    I can assure you that not only African Americans who suffer from racism in the US!
    I am Afro Brazilian and I’ll tell you my country shared the same sad story of slavery as in the US!
    In all these years I realized that they don’t have a heart and don’t know what it means respect for others, they enjoy torturing us until to our death!
    These people are not Christians because they don’t have love in their hearts!
    I wanted to ask you a question what you think of the whites who adopt blacks children?
    I would like to listen to your opinion about and if you can do an article on this topic! I already have my own opinion about it!
    Thanks again!

    Like

  9. Layla says:

    Hi Truthangel07 I am new in your blog. I like your thinking on racism and black culture I left some my notes. I lived for many years in Italy. When I was a little girl and young girl and I had a lot of friends, unfortunately, the majority were whites! I just tell you that I broke all the friendships I had with them because white people are disgusting no matter if they are male or female friends are disgusting! I was discriminated against for 19 years by both sexes for my complexion and my roots!
    Now I’m married and I do not want more than to share my feelings with anyone especially the whites! For when I think about white people not in need of our friendship because they don’t deserve it and we are too good with them! White people no matter what language they speak and from which country they come Racism there they wrote in their DNA !!

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    • truthangel07 says:

      Hi, Layla.

      Welcome to my blog.

      You lived in Italy. Wow. Not many people can say that.

      However, what you described is a trait in white people generally.

      There is something missing in the souls of these people. Frankly, I don’t consider them human.

      Don’t they believe in aliens? Perhaps there’s a reason for that.

      Like

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  15. Back when I was more confused, I was the black friend to a plethora of white women throughout my life–really since childhood. I grew up in predominately white environments and didn’t know how to relate to my black peers until college. Now in college, all of my friends were black, but once I left I defaulted back to whites again.

    But believe me now, I have over the course of months eliminated all of my white “friends.” I don’t have any white friends, and I can’t say my life has suffered much. I do have WW at work who try to befriend me, but I give them the brush off and focus more on being friendly to my black coworkers. WW are pretty awful in general. It’s hard being friends with these females who are pathologically insecure, jealous, threatened by every little thing, and just plain crazy at times. I’ve never met a group of women who are so insecure, and ironically wear their insecurity like a badge. They are covertly aggressive, vicious, and just dangerous on many levels. I try my best to stay away from them.

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    • truthangel07 says:

      Thank you for being honest, Pirouette.

      Generally, people of all races seem to gravitate toward me, and I actually had a lot of Hispanic friends over the years, but the white girls that tried to befriend me were often given the brush-off as well. I don’t trust them and I’ll ‘ditto’ what you illustrated as relates to them being pathologically jealous, et al. Yes they are–especially of Black women. They spend millions of dollars to have cosmetic enhancement so they can be more physically appealing, and the physical body type they envy most is that of the Black woman.

      Yes. They really wish they could be us but chocolate was not made from milk, baby.

      🙂

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  19. Real sad says:

    I wouldnt ever intentionally have white friends or be the only black.Hell to the no!! I have black friends only…they aint gonna be shading my black ass.Let me tell you something when i was in middle school when i was bused out to this white area…i was in all honors classes…and let me tell u …i was the only black person in all my classes!! No joke! It was so uncomfortable..i remeber telling the guidance counselour that i want to switch to regular(where there is black and spanish kids mostly) but she refused to because she said i needed those classes for high school.I have no idea how some black people feel comfortable being the only black there amongst their “friends”

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  20. Adeen says:

    I see a ”Black Friend” as a token Black person that Whites and non Blacks flock to ”learn” about Black culture and not seem racist. Don’t let them fool you. Many Whites may be nice to you in your face but when they are around majority White company, their true selves come out. Not all Whites are like this but sadly many of them are.

    Like

  21. There’s a new movie coming out called Dear White People that addresses these very same issues. You can google the name to see the trailer.

    Like

  22. Tyrone says:

    @Truthangel07

    “The Black Friend” has a dual purpose for Whites. A bridge to black culture and a self-esteem booster(I Can’t Be Racist, I Have Black Friends). As you stated, others are drawn to “Black Cool.” However, this is deceiving. Just because whites obsess over the asthetics of blackness, it does not mean they love black people. It’s easy for other folk to cherrypick this or that from blackness, yet, still be a pseudo-racists. Some of us spaz out if whites wanna hang with us, Why? Maybe some feel that it gives them status to have a white suck-under them…I Guess? Personally, i don’t like ass-kissing people, regardless of race…It’s Lame To Me! I’d rather us focus on getting our ish together as a people, not being liked by others.

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    • truthangel07 says:

      To become my friends, first, I have to like you. Second, you have to be “real” about who you are–no mask wearing phonies get in my house. Third; what’s your story. Who are you? If you don’t have the courage to be who you are, then don’t expect me to want to become associated with a phantom.

      Very simple.

      Like

      • Tyrone says:

        @Truthangel07.

        I agree with your point, it should be a challenge to befriend anybody. Associate with the wrong person, bad things happen. My true friends are few in number, and i prefer it to stay that way.

        Like

      • truthangel07 says:

        My oldest friend has known me since I was 5–and I know WHO MY REAL FRIENDS ARE, even though I know a lot of people in general.

        Like

  23. Thank you, I see what you mean and they also need a brownie ethnico like myself. What a terrible world we live in, I feel sad everytime I see this type of pattern. Keep writing!!!!

    Like

  24. originalwoman13 says:

    For some reason, even before I became aware I just didn’t believe in having white friends. It was hard enough trying to be friends with black people.

    Like

  25. I’m getting really tired of these white folks!

    Like

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