Yesterday, I almost cussed my aunt out on the phone while speaking to my mother who has been in the hospital the past week. She’s doing fine, but my mother has been physically impacted over the last 2 years by a lot of stress put on her by family. I’ve told her as far back as high school that she needs to let some of her siblings go, and stop running to their rescue every time they called. Per usual, as with most families, there is always one who feels it’s their duty to help EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY, but receive nothing in return. That’s abuse. I was emphatic with my mother to stop. I warned her way back when that the day would come when she would need those same people, and none of them would be willing to put out as she had. Well, my words have proven to be prophetic.
While trying to talk to her on the phone, she was more interested in getting to some banquet than listening to my concerns about my mother. My aunt made some statements to me that I felt were rude and she is my mother’s youngest sister who for most of her life, has been a co-dependent (never had a job), lived off the state, and feels no obligation to help anyone, but she’s not shy about asking for what you have. I needed some emotional support,but she began lecturing me about things that she was not an expert on and certainly not in a position to be telling me what to do concerning my mother. This aunt has always been the party-goer. She never had time to help anyone…the streets were more important to her. Family stuff was boring to her. She’s a true seventies child: Me! Me! Me! She never offered to cook for family dinners, but doggonit! She’d be the first to get a plate and take 2 home. Her mentality is that of a leech and frankly, I feel she’s a sociopath. And sociopaths have no conscience and don’t care who they use or hurt. There is also a serious situation that happened over 20 years ago that cost the life of an innocent person because of her actions. I feel she’s cursed and just is incapable of love and responsibility of any kind.
Honestly, I couldn’t sleep last night because I actually envisioned myself kicking her ass.
The values that I have are deeply rooted in family and having these type of disturbances can cause a tremendous breakdown in not only communication, but mental well-being. Blood is supposed to be thicker than water but sometimes, people in your own family wish to shed your blood.
I’ve reached a zenith this week with some of my family members and I’m not going to tolerate their behavior any longer.
My mother always scolds me when I do speak my mind about things–thinking that “keeping the peace” is the best way to solve a problem. I don’t agree with that. An offender needs to be seized, apprehended, and escorted from the place or lives of those who are willing to be civil with one another.
In the coming days, I have some serious decisions to make regarding care for my mother. She’s 75. And her well-being is the most important right now.
As for my aunt, I’ve made a decision to cut her off. To get into the many reasons why would overwhelm many here, but I’m sure, those of you who can relate know, to save a life sometimes means that you have to respect the power you have within you to take a life.
Basically, I can no longer except mediocrity from those who call themselves family.
Either SHAPE UP or SHIP OUT!
I’m trying so hard to avoid a confrontation, but I just don’t know…however, I do ally myself with the laws of common sense: Sometimes you have to become the peace that you seek in your family.