The truth is a hard pill to swallow, but there are some naive Black people and arrogant white people, who seem to thing that because Black and white people are openly dating, marrying, or just having sex with each other, is some kind of new social statement. Well, it’s not. And there’s nothing new about it. However, some of US actually feel complimented if a white person is attracted to us; exposing a deep subconscious inferiority complex in a few who think that any type of validation from white folks is just wonderful.
As a Black woman, I will admit that I have been approached by men of various nationalities and also white men, however, with exception to dating a couple of Puerto Rican guys in my very young years, I’ve securely made my decision to stick with Black men. I just am more attracted to them overall and I don’t have any fantasies of being with men of other cultures or races at this time.
Also, what leads me not to date white men mainly is the historical relationship they had with Black women, exploiting their bodies for profit and the disparity of equality, always gave them power over the Black family. The term used during slavery was, miscegenation. Basically, I can’t love an oppressor. My rejection of white men has everything to do with protecting not just my body, but also my integrity, in controlling whom I choose to allow to enter into my personal space.
To borrow a quote from an online article I read: “My Black identity is affirmative and willful, and traces, if not big ass messy footprints of my Black identity can be found in just about everything I say and do.”
Opposites may attract, but there comes a time when you have to be able to relate to the one you’re with. Black men get me. They read me like sonar…and in a mate, it’s very important to have understanding of one another’s issues that may be encountered either, socially, personally, or culturally.
Remember the movie, Disappearing Acts starring Sanaa Lathan and Wesley Snipes, well, to borrow the title’s suggestion; I feel that many people in relationships think that being either in ‘lust’ or ‘love’, one can diminish the most obvious part of who they are and just relate to this person they are interested in romantically at the time. But why would you want to make someone forget the most valuable part of who you are in order to win their favor? White people have the luxury, albeit, the convenience of White Privilege to just be casual, but an African American who actually follows this prescript is headed for disaster. Some do this so they won’t make their white partner uncomfortable, having to be confronted with the obvious racial differences in certain settings, but why would they be uncomfortable if they made the choice to accept you for who you are—or is that a wide uncertainty?
Whenever I see Black people in relationships with white people in particular, they always look somewhat uncomfortable, especially when other Black people are around. It’s hilarious at times…the bucking of the eyes, as you approach them walking hand in hand, looking ever so unsure of the reaction you might get from “your people.” Really…
Sometimes, I just chuckle to myself at the absurdity of it all, but most of the time, I enjoy the fear that rises in these type of couples because perhaps then, they will really, finally face the real truth of why they are intimate with one another.
Oh, come on…SEX. That’s the whole carrot, baby. They need to find out if chocolate is really that good and if vanilla can be exciting to the taste buds. When they get a taste of each other’s pudding, after the climax, then, I guess, they realize that having respect for who you are with–FIRST, is the beginning of a good relationship.
As relates to sex between white and Black people, as the title boldy states: Yes! You were a pawn in a bigger game that is being played and fell for the okey-doke. The snowball got what he/she wanted, and got it for cheap. No need to send them a bill to pay you for your great-great-great-great grandma or grandaddy being owned by his/hers now.
The bill is now settled.