Waiting To Exhale…All These Years Later!


Remember Waiting to Exhale.  It was a highly anticipated movie that would go on to become a social phenomenon.

Last night, I watched it.  I hadn’t seen it in years. As I watched it, I remembered a different time in my life, being so young, waiting on that “right guy” to convince me to be his forever.  But then, the next day, thinking, really?  What if I get tired of him tomorrow? Our friends go through ups and down with men and we’re there for them when it falls flat.  We all want to be happy.  But the trick is to remain that way after the euphoria dies down and you have to look at the real person.

Love is quirky.  Relationships take work.  Cliquing with the right person, seems as difficult as some of us thinking we can build a rocket by just reading a book or watching a video on Youtube.

To this day, we haven’t seen a movie with as many Black actresses achieve so much commercial success.

But I remember going to the movies to see this and it was so refreshing to me visually. All of the actors were not only attractive but the scenery of Phoenix, Arizona was different and refreshing for a Black movie setting.  Visually, it was a beautiful movie–no question, and then…the soundtrack.  Everyone from Mary J. Blige, Chante Moore to Chaka Khan, brought such life to the scenes in the movie.  And we can’t forget them can we?

We love these women from the start.  They remind us of people that we know.  Everything about them is relatable, yet, not stereotypical.  As the movie tagline goes: “Friends are the people who let your be yourself–and never let you forget it.”  So true.  However, what translates most profound about these 4 friends is that they love each other, and are there for each other through thick and thin–with a glass of wine nearby of course for the deep stuff.

Who can’t remember the classic scene of Angela Bassett’s character, Bernadine, taking a torch to her husband’s ish; after leaving her for a white woman:


Sisters across the country howled at this scene.  It just embodied so much frustration that many felt at that time.  Many had been through the same thing.

What Waiting to Exhale truly transmits is the necessity of female friendships.  It’s absolutely necessary to be there for each other.  No matter who we are or what we do, we all got stuff to figure out.

Within the last 6 years, I’ve been reunited with so many childhood friends and my best friends, who’ve known me since early childhood.  It’s been refreshing reminiscing and talking about old times.  Like the ladies in Waiting to Exhale, we’ve all been through our fair share of drama, but we’re still here.

One of my facebook friends, posted this on her timeline today: “People look at me and think I’ve got it all together, when deep down inside my shoe is eating my sock.”  She looked very sad in the photo.  I don’t know what is going on, but I posted this as my response to her: Girl, I’m stealing this for my latest novel. Seriously, Sharmin–it’s gonna be ok. I watched Waiting to Exhale last night for the first time in years. That movie is still so relatable today. No matter who we are, we all got stuff to figure out. It will be ok. Pray about it…and keep it moving, girl. Don’t allow anything negative to live in your life or mind–rent-free.

And on that note, I leave that as a message to all here who are going through anything that you think is insurmountable.  Don’t let it be your kryptonite.  You are more than your circumstances.

The sad passing of Whitney Houston in 2011; the message of the movie just seems even more profound of not taking our friendships for granted.

With the closing scene of them being in the car together, as the movie ended, the ladies all took every thing in stride; and at the end of it all, it’s their friendship that truly was the hallmark of everything they each had been through.

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Remember that.


5 comments on “Waiting To Exhale…All These Years Later!

  1. kelley says:

    I love your synopsis of this classic. And it’s still one of my favorite movie soundtracks EVER.


  2. As a man I cannot relate to the issues of women none the less, seeing as this is a black-centered movie, there are many things that I can take and apply to my life and one of the things, well actually two, that we can all agree upon whether we’re male or female is the value of friendship, companionship, perseverance and resilience. Make that 4 things lol, I have never actually watched the entire movie and the only things I know about it are Whitney’s songs Count On Me and Exhale Shoop be doop… lovely post as always sis


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